Anger is an interesting emotion … for me and for the past few years it has been as my default position. If I am kind to myself, I accept that I have enough things in my life to keep me angry for the rest of my life.This would be okay for all the benefits that anger gives me i.e. when I am angry my vision is 20/20 – I am clear, succinct and determined. To date, I have not regretted a single decision made in anger. Anger gets me into flight/ fight / freeze mode and the clarity that I experience in that zone is brilliant!

The problem is that it consumes all the energy that I have. I’m constantly burnt out and have no time to love life. And its only for this reason, that I wish to not be angry anymore.

My issue though, is that I don’t know what to do with the past. the past makes me so angry! … the deceit, the weakness in others, the hypocrisy of my country and the inherent self-absorbed nature of people … what do I do with it? I need to dump it somewhere… Like literally, I need to take the biggest shit of my life!

My psychiatrist says that I have to feel my way through it and only then 'it' will be dumped somewhere …

... so now I am dumping this shit!

  • I hate that my husband, parents, friends and pastors were more scared than I was. You fuckers were suppose to be my rock but instead you were weak! Fuck you!

  • I hate that people judged my actions without knowing me;

  • I hate that I was used as a twitter thread for some;

  • I hate that I am a fucking whistle-blower and divorcee’;

  • I hate like I hate like I hate, that doing the right thing lost me in the process.

  • i hate that i lost everything .... i am so fucking angry!!!

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