I CAN HOLD BOTH.


Following what appeared to be a typical session with my therapist, I have received one of the most profound epiphanies. I realise with painful precision that I am slowly appreciating that I am not “either / or“. I am allowed to be both!


I struggle when the “both” are contradictions… but I am working on that. I can hold both!

I am not just a mom!

I am not just an ex-wife!

I am not just a whistle-blower!


I am these things and more…. Most importantly, I am allowed to be both of everything...

I can be scared and fearless, at the same time.

I can be me and fat;

I can be a good mom and feel insecure;

I can be successful and broke;

I can be accomplished and ignored;


I am struggling…. And I have faith;


I am fat and learning to love myself;

I am considered and I am someone to be considered;

I am misunderstood whilst I get myself;

I am scared and fearless;

I am conscientious and laid back;

I am deliberate and easy going;

I am empathetic to others and protective of my boundaries;

I love people and I am learning to love myself;

I am tired and energetic;

I am trying to live whilst I am willing to die… I am always both…. I will not apologize!

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