Your Promise still stands

It was a really pleasant Sunday afternoon. I was still living in the apartment that I rented after my first divorce – it overlooked the Morningside shopping centre and had the best patio ever! Michael's Boss, Chris and his wife had popped over for Sunday tea because they knew that Chloe’ was planned to arrive the following Tuesday. They came over to wish us well… it was nice. It was pleasant.

Whilst having tea, someone needed something – it was either a teaspoon or sugar, I can’t remember... But I got up and ran to the kitchen to get it. Chris shouted, “Bianca you shouldn’t be doing that!”! What did I know? It’s not like I had being 38 weeks pregnant before!

Eventually they left and I felt a stitch on my left rib cage. Like I had just come back from a long run and needed to stretch it out. It wasn’t crazy or anything... so I decided to lie on the couch until it passed. An hour later and the stitch didn’t go away. At the time, I lived like 500m from the hospital and in my most recent Gynae appointment, he had mentioned that I should go to the maternity ward with any concerns… so I didn’t! hahaha! I wasn’t concerned about a stitch!

But Michael insisted that we go, so we went – argh!

Whilst driving I told him that I didn’t want anyone (family etc) to know about this unplanned hospital visit, and he agreed.

We get to the hospital’s labour ward, they put some gadgets on me and then proceed to tell me that I was in labour. The way I laughed! The movies didn’t make it seem so calm?! Hahahha 😊 and by this time the stitch had disappeared!

Anyways, Chloe’ had decided to arrive on a Sunday at about 7pm. Michael rushed down the road for the baby bag and I was getting prepped for a caesarean (dislocated hip, pre verbal drama meant that natural labour was a risk for me). Before Michael left I told him that I didn’t want the family to know – they would stress and I felt that it was better that we told them when we (him, Chloe’ and I) were cool. He agreed.

If I recall correctly, it was about 19h15 and I was in theatre. All medical staff required were there, but Michael wasn’t and I asked them to wait him. It’s hilarious because the anaesthesiologist was complaining that he wanted to be home for the 8pm movie on MNET! Hahaha! Eventually Michael arrived and the show began …I had elected the epidural as pain relief…

Lets go back a little …I mention Michael in these blogs as the man that hit me in front of my daughter and its time that I credit him for being a great Dad …. He was there every second of the process of giving birth and being the hospital.

The anaesthesiologist was administering the epidural and the paediatrician was pulling my neck down to the floor and making sure that I don’t move – it was a horrible experience! None that I had ever experienced before…. But with my face forced to face the floor to straighten my spine, Michael moved his body so that his face was directly under mine. As he held my hand he kept telling me that I was doing great and that everything would be good.

About 30mins later Chloe was born and after receiving a 9 on her Apgar score (yip! My overachieving personality cannot be ignored 😊), she was given to Michael who gave her to me.

Michael doesn’t know this, but whilst I held Chloe in my arms and they stitched me up, I prayed and I gave Chloe to God. I made a deal with him as follows:

“…because you gave me this child, I will love her and care for her as my own;

But you will be her Father.. Michael on earth, yes.But, this child will be Ypur’s God, and on rent to me and I will honour you God, by doing the best I can to care for her… the rest is up to you – deal?

I heard God say Yes.”

I cried and Michael had to take Chloe away. I saw her again about 4 hours later once I was out of recovery.

From the start, Chloe and I butted heads … she wanted to breast feed, but my body didn’t allow it. It was probably a week later that I started breastfeeding after days of trying, crying and excruciating pain! But it worked eventually and once the taps were open, they seemed to not wanna stop 😊 (take that for “open taps”, Clive!!!)

I have never shared my experience of giving birth with anyone before… I haven’t had the headspace to celebrate the brilliance of it!

I had my beautiful daughter in calm and peace and almost alone (my wishes). I loved the experience and wish that every year, on her birthday, I could relive it.

The best part of me is her!

And this is only God’s hand.

At 8-weeks, Chloe’ should have been terminated – I was bleeding internally for no reason… the doctor told us to not tell anyone about the pregnancy because it didn’t appear viable …. Chloe is 9-years old today 😊

God did it again … He has never failed me and never will!

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